Friday, December 18, 2009

2009 Exciting Edwards Extravaganza er my Holiday Letter going out today!


Seasons Eatings, er Greetings to our family, friends and the strangers standing in front of the fridge reading the 5th HUGE installment of yet another Exciting Edwards Extravaganza!

Yes, folks like John from John & Kate Plus 8, we just keep coming back with more in a year filled with craziness like our Wild Tiger, Deviant Dave, Piggy Flu Paranoia, and the death of scary looking thriller dude! Joey even won the Nobel Peace Prize in ’09 for doing…for doing…oh wait I guess they gave it to that other guy!

Yes, craziness has also been prevalent here in the Edwards Establishment and I continue to look up in the sky expecting to see some winged porkers flying (& ready to take cover as you never know what they may drop)! 2010 kicked off with a bang as Joey and I made our way on New Year’s Day up to the very cold frosty Lake Erie Beach where Joey took the Polar Bear Plunge into the freezing cold water. I suppose ‘Destination Craziness’ was the set course for this year!

So the cold water must have re-wired something in Joey’s head as Mr. “Why camp out when a hotel has a perfectly comfortable bed?” has come over to the dark side and we got some equipment and camped out a fair amount this summer. Now I know many of you are still in disbelief that there could be this radical change of mindset by Joey, but apparently mountain biking at some silly sweet venues can be quite convincing! We managed to mountain bike and camp all over in PA, NY and Ohio and even did some high class camping in an RV a couple weekends (once with our friends out in Raystown, PA and once down at Mohican’s 100K mtn bike race next to a host of mountain bike legends!) Ahhh, many a good times were had & we definitely seemed to make an impression in the neighboring state of PA as they dollied out a 5 ft beer shrine to the RV. (In our defense, OH people just can’t get Yuengling everyday though and to our credit, it was not all ours!)

2009 goes down as Year Two of mountain biking for us. In 2008, it was Joey’s turn to break nearly everything on his bike. This year it was just his helmet (slamming headfirst into the ground after some fun kickers) and his face (which was perfect for our Halloween Corpse Bride & Groom Costume!). 2009 would serve as the year, yours truly, Janet, would keep breaking her bike…thank goodness for my loyal bike shop! Oh and don’t think I have not escaped unscathed…I sit here now typing with a bruised, scraped and swollen elbow, quad and palm after a crash just last night. Adults just don’t bounce like kids anymore…even if we still want to play like them!

And back to the airborne cob rollers, Anti-Spandex man also jumped onto the road bike band wagon hard core in 2009 and together we logged hundreds of miles in …you guessed it…SPANDEX! Oh and on the final swine fluttering note, after months of being personally berated by Joey with “Make friends in real life,” Joey joined the ranks of Facebook users everywhere and is now quite the Facebook strumpet.

In other news, after miles of abuse, I got rid of the G-Unit, aka my Pontiac G6 and bought a brand new Honda Fit! This animate lil car seems to have been made for me with a decent price-tag, nearly 38 mph gas average and it can haul a ton of crap, even fitting four bicycles inside! Is it bad when you go car shopping and want to take your bicycles with you as it is really important deciding factor? So Lisa can make fun of clown car all she wants, this fine carefree 7 month old with over 24K miles-on-it-already-car is going to get us places in 2010!

Despite having to drive so far to civilization, country living continues to treat us well. Besides Mohawk Matches (our golden retrievers Indian summer name) and Zippo (aka as catpigcat for his belly and food consumption habbits), we seemed to have had an issue with some squirrels trying to take over at the homestead (getting in the walls and everything else). But fear not friends, Joey Crockett emerged victorious in his mission to drink lots of coffee and take them out one by one from the upstairs window.

Guess it is time to close for now as like usual, there are a billion other things I should be doing like updating my fb status or posting some witty tweet or sending out a text (not while I’m driving, of course, :-). Who knows what 2010 will bring, but I Gotta Feeling from my most recent shopping experience that the 80’s fashion is coming back with a vengeance. I just want to announce right now for the record that in no way will my hair ever get that big again though!!!

Peace and Lotza Love! Janet, Joey, Matches & Zippo!
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jessithompson said...

Great letter with lots of fun laughs!

E-Speed said...

your letters are always entertaining! Merry Christmas :)

Julia said...

This letter is hilarious! Good to know 2009 was so good.

Mnowac said...

Sounds like you had a great year and I am so glad that you and Joey get to mountain bike together. Its so great when the hubs can work out with you! Have a great 2010.

*Check out my Heart Thrive Cookie giveaway @ MonicaOnTheGo.Com*

Alan said...

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